Shuhaib ShariffThe Dark Knight… Yeah, Right!

In a bizarre attempt to make employees’ roles appear more important, new titles have replaced “dinner ladies” and “call center workers”, a study has found.

Top 20 jargon-filled job titles:

1. Beverage Dissemination Officer - Barman

2. Colour Distribution Technician - Painter and Decorator

3. Customer Experience Enhancement Consultant - Shop Assistant

4. Domestic Technician - Housewife

5. Education Centre Nourishment Consultant - Dinner Lady

6. Highway Environmental Hygienist - Road Sweeper

7. Field Nourishment Consultant - Waitress

8. Five a Day Collection Operative - Fruit Picker

9. Front Line Customer Support Facilitator - Call Centre Worker

10. Gastronomical Hygiene Technician - Dish Washer

11. Mass Production Engineer - Factory Worker

12. Media Distribution Officer - Paper Boy

13. Mobile Sustenance Facilitator - Burger Van Worker

14. Mortar Logistics Engineer - Labourer

15. Petroleum Transfer Engineer - Petrol Station Assistant

16. Recycling Operative - Bin Man

17. Sanitation Consultant - Toilet Cleaner

18. Coin Facilitation Engineer - Toll Booth Collector

19. Transparency Enhancement Facilitator - Window Cleaner

20. Vehicle Restoration Engineer - Panel Beater (ANI)

The legend of Rajinikanth :

Rajnikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajnikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajnikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajnikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on, he turns the dark off.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

Rajnikanth has counted infinity–twice.

Rajnikanth doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.

The Bermuda Triangle used to be the Bermuda Square, until Rajnikanth kicked one of the corners off.

Rajnikanth ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.

Rajnikanth frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

Rajnikanth’s tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.